800 calories

I had 800 calories on Thursday, and then 800 on Friday... and then 800 on Saturday...  And then who knows (~1500?) on Sunday...

That was definitely not part of my plan, which means even further adjustments to what I had planned.  I was going to do 2-4-6-8 to build up to 1000 (for Kekwick) but it looks like I've already done that...  So I'm doing 200 calories tonight and hopefully starting the Kekwick tomorrow.  The only thing that would stand in my way would be if I can't somehow get around to weighing out my macadamia nuts because my boyfriend or roommates say something about it.  I realize now that I should've weighed them out beforehand (but I didn't want them to get stale!).

Ugh I also neglected to take my vitamins and fiber supplement Saturday and Sunday, which probably messed up my energy levels (I was sooo tired over the weekend--I thought it was just due to the travel) and also made me irregular.

On a lighter note, I did finally weigh myself again this morning and it read 111.5, which will hopefully get lower once I get rid of all the waste from the junk I ate this weekend (fiber time!).

I am sooo glad that I have to do so much walking/scrambling around during the day because of school/work.  I never have any time to exercise (and yet I somehow have time to binge?..) because of studying (graduating a year early!), so I know that my activity during the day really helps out a lot.  There is no way I could still be losing weight despite my frequent mini-binges if it weren't for the calories burned in the day.

My boyfriend and I were separated for Easter (he stayed with his family while I visited mine), but I found out yesterday that he tried Epsom Salt (as a laxative) Saturday night.  Once he told me about it I knew that I could do it every once in a while without having to hide it from him (yay!).  He knows I'm paranoid about "regularity" and "cleansing," but I figured he would not approve of taking laxatives.  BUUUUUT since he's tried it now, I can use it too lol...

I've really been wanting to take pictures of my body (say weekly?) to keep track of my progress, but every time I do I hate what I see and delete it.  I'm worried that I'll never like what I see because I have a hideous reminder of how fat I let myself get in high school--I have stretch marks on my hips and thighs...  And no matter how thin I get the scars will still be there :(

Wow lol sorry for the long and rambling post but I just had so many random thoughts in my head!