Family

Alright now that I got that first post out, I can gather my thoughts and write up something (at least somewhat) coherent.

During spring break I was able to spend time with my boyfriend, which was nice but it wasn't much of a change from what I usually do seeing as how I do live with him already.  Anyway, the best part of last week was actually this last weekend, when I went home to visit with my family.  I love my family and I loved seeing them, so leaving to come back here for school was really hard.  It was also my little sister's 18th birthday, so although I was excited for her I also got really anxious.  She's a senior in high school now and is about to graduate and go off to college.  I couldn't believe it but I was getting soo sentimental this weekend, thinking about how when I left for college she was barely starting 10th grade.  I'm so glad I went away for college because it helped me mature and experience life, but I hate that I had to miss my sister growing up and getting through high school.  She's still very much the same little sister I left three years ago, but she's also got so many experiences I wasn't a part of--things that helped to shape how she is now and how she will be as an adult.  And now that she's 18 and about to start the rest of her life it's finally sinking in for me.

My sister did not get in to the college she wanted to go to.  She didn't get in to the college I wanted her to go to either.  I was no help to her when she was in high school taking classes and joining clubs that would show up on her college applications.  I didn't help at all when she was filling out those applications.  And I wasn't there when she found out that she wasn't accepted.  I can only imagine how sad and scared she felt when she found out.  And it makes me so sad that she had to feel those things.  I realize that she has to live her own life and experience these things for herself--I can't possibly hold her hand through everything and I won't.  I guess I just wish I was a bigger part of her life so that it wouldn't hurt her as much when things like this happen.

This weekend was a lot of fun.  My sister was so happy being treated for her birthday and spending time with the family.  She wasn't thinking about colleges, and when she was she was trying to look at the bright side of what she was dealt.  I love my sister and I'm so proud of what she has accomplished without me.  She is still going to a good university, just not the one she had planned on.  I'm so proud of her, and I must make an effort to reach out to her more often so that she knows that.