Almost binged just now.  I got home and I started eating an avocado roll that my boyfriend gave me.  Whenever I eat these sushi things, I bite them in half so that I get the middle filling part but only half the rice.  So the whole thing had 140 calories but I'm pretty sure I had no more than 100.  But once I started eating it (usually have salad for lunch/dinner) I wanted mooreee fooodd. I ate 3 mini rice cakes.  Then a handful of dark chocolate chunks. A handful of soy nuts. A pecan cookie.  12 prunes.  A regular rice cake.  With peanut butter.  Finally finished with my mango salad.  Ended up with around 600 calories according to the SGD (didn't count my mango salad cals--it was just 1/2 cup of mango and a ton of romaine lettuce).  I stopped when I realized how I must've looked.  Just shoving everything around me into my mouth. Anything I could get my hands on.  It was disgusting. So I stopped.  Thank goodness, I was supposed to have 500 calories today anyway, so i didn't do too badly.

Started chewing some gum to distract myself.  I wasn't physically hungry anymore, but I knew if I had the chance I would end up eating anyway.  Then came on here to check out the thinspo on all your blogs.  Remembered that the only way I'd ever get close to being skinny is if I stop eating.  Took some fiber.  Apparently I get enough fiber because of all the fruits and veggies I eat on a daily basis.  So my fiber supplement isn't really necessary...  Whatever,, I don't want any extra poop weight in my body ever.

Oh, in my diet and exercise class we had to weigh ourselves and find out body fat %.  I was really anxious because I felt like I could pee (even though I made sure not to drink any water 1.5 hrs prior to when we would be weighed) and I didn't want to weigh more than I really do just because I was full of pee!  Anyway, the scale read 113.6, which is not bad considering I didn't pee beforehand and I had a bagel and a banana earlier in the day.  The surprising part was my body fat %.  I thought it would be super high because I can tell that my body is mostly fat and very little muscle.  But it wasn't.  According to my class (these numbers vary based on different sources), 16.7-24.9% is normal, above 25% is overweight and under 16.7 is lean.  Somehow my body fat % is 16.5 :)  Nice little birthday present :)  Except that literally the second I got home I went through a mini binge....  

SGD day 11: 500

Thank you all for the birthday wishes yesterday!!

Yesterday was so much fun :) After BJ's everyone headed over to my apartment and we just hung out and drank for the rest of the night.  It was relaxing drinking though, not crazy party time since it was a Wednesday lol.  I CANNOT wait for this weekend (3-day weekend woo!!).  That is when the real party should happen lol yay!

Another great thing about yesterday was that I ended up not liking my pasta haha! Sounds like a bad thing, but since I didn't like it I only ate 1/4 of it, plus about 1/3 of my friend's veggie pizza (no cheese).  So in total I had about 300 calories from dinner :)  ...But I did have 3 beers last night >.<  It was worth it though... 

Today I get 500 calories, plus I'm going for a run later today.  So far I've found the SGD to be my favorite diet in terms of ease and energy levels.  Only problem is I really wanted to be 95lbs by August, meaning I've got a month to lose like 15 pounds :( Don't think that's going to happen, especially since I'm almost halfway through the SGD without experiencing a crazy amount of weight loss.  I guess I can't really know until I weigh myself tomorrow, but it doesn't seem very likely.

Intake today:

-1 plain bagel ~ 200 cals
-banana: 0

(will update again after dinner)



Aye Ell I hate that although I expect a temporary gain the morning after a party it always kills me whenever I see that high number on the scale.  It doesn't make any sense to freak out but we all do it, which is why I'm just going to try to avoid it for now :)

parisienne.love thank you! Hopefully I can finish out the rest of the SGD strong :)

Princess Perfection thanks and you're right, I think a night off for my 21st birthday was well deserved haha :)

Thin or Not and Evelyn thank you for the birthday wishes :)

Ceecee omg I know!  I'm the youngest out of my group of friends (everyone is at least a year older than me because I graduated a year early) so I have been dyiinnggg to turn 21 lol.  I can finally go out with everyone without any worries :)

Sammy hahah! yes please I hope my body cooperates with me this week :)

Camille you're absolutely right and I'm trying not to get discouraged by the slow weight loss by telling myself it's probably more muscle from exercise.  I can definitely run a lot further and faster than I could when I first started, so that's something!

SGD day 10: 400

Yesterday went very well.  In total I had just over 300 calories, but according to the SGD (where fruits and veggies don't count as calories), I had just over 100 :D

I also ran yesterday, I didn't stop once for 4 miles.

Today is my birthday, I'm 21 now!!!  We're going to BJ's tonight, and I've already looked at the menu ahead of time.  I'm going to have the Mediterranean vegetable pasta, which has 525 calories.  I'm going to get it with no cheese, which should reduce the calories by a tiny bit.  I've already used up 160 calories today (hearth thrive energy bar), but I know my boyfriend is going to make sure I eat most of the pasta since I will probably have a couple of drinks (hey I'm 21 now lol).  Anyway, even with all that, I don't think my calorie intake will be all that high (definitely keep it under 1000) + it's my birthday so as long as I make sure today is the only day I go over my calorie limit I should be fine :)

I can tell that my body is getting back to where it was at my lowest weight.  I'm not going to weigh-in until Friday so that I don't obsess over every little change, (like tomorrow for example, I would probably not be happy with my weight after my festivities tonight), but I can definitely tell by the way my clothes are fitting me.  I was 111 last Friday, I would LOVE to be closer to 108 this week, but as long as I don't gain because of tonight I'll be happy.  BUUUUUT I really hope I lose something, anything!!! Lol, please, as a birthday present?

SGD day 9: 300

I'm really tired already, and I've just started the 2nd week of summer school! (6 weeks total).  It's a good thing though, means I'm not getting enough energy from food :)

My boyfriend is onto me--he keeps hinting that I have an eating disorder and making sure I eat.  But he only keeps a close enough eye on me during the weekends.  Monday-Friday he's too busy playing video games with our roommates to notice what I'm eating.

I like the SGD so far.  It's making me eat most of my calories from fruits and veggies.  Usually I would count the calories from fruits/veggies, so I wouldn't eat very many when I was restricting.  But now that it's "unlimited," I've been eating around 2 whole pieces of fruit a day and a huge salad that I split over 2 meals.  This makes me full enough to not have to eat so much of other kinds of food (as in non-fruits/veggies).  It's perfect because calories from fruits/veggies are pretty much the only ones I want in my body anyway :)

I want to be an expert at reading nutritional and ingredient labels on food.  I can already scan for non-vegan items really quickly, I want to add refined sugars/any other non-whole-food to my list of ingredients to avoid.  Hmm maybe I should make a list...

Tomorrow is my 21st birthday :) I'm turning 21 during my last summer of college haha

I'm determined to eat as little as possible and still run everyday for the rest of this week.  I'll see how it goes.

Princess Perfection and Thin or Not thanks for your encouragement :) I think you guys are my best motivation to stay strong and lose more weight because I know we are all going through the same things together!

SGD day 8: 400

This past weekend I should have had around 650 calories a day.  I ended up doubling that amount--for both days! (~1300 each day)

Blegh it sucks, but I did get to hang out with my family at the mall (lots of walking yay).

Hmm I'm in the comp lab and a bunch of people just walked in, so I'm going to have to pick this up later...

Just wanted to let you all know that I'm still here and I'm still determined to stick to the SGD!

Update (1:00pm): Phew, okay I'm back :)
So far today:
-apple: 0 cals
-heart thrive energy bar: 160
-jogging (1 hour): -250
total: -90 so far :)

Hmm so although I'm fed up with my weight/body again and I thought I was determined to lose more, I can't seem to really get focused and stick to my diet.  I'm fine during the week when I have school and work to distract me, but when I actually need to rely on my strength and willpower to avoid food I don't even try.  I can tell because I've done it before, and I know it's hard but I've done it.  Bah so now I just restrict during the week (which is easy) so that I can eat whatever I want over the weekend and not gain any weight.  Arghh but I want to lose weight and I'm not.  I don't know how to make myself try through--I don't know how to get myself motivated enough..

Hmph.  so now I just feel guilty about eating/huge and covered in fat all the time--and yet somehow that isn't enough to make me stop eating?

meh.

SGD day 5: 450

Hmm day 2 of my period.  So I'm 111 again today, most likely due to all the BLOATING yuck.  It's 11am and I don't feel like eating anything but I also don't feel like running :(

Yesterday I started using a software with which I record everything I eat and all of my activity.  It's a lot better than the free one I was using online (fitday.com, which is still pretty good for being free).  I'm kinda scared about turning in my data though, because I'm eating very little and exercising a lot.  But I don't want to add in extra food to look "normal" because I actually want to use this thing to monitor my real progress lol!

Ah well I'll have to come back later tonight and update my food intake and hopefully my exercise because my roommates just came into my room and left the door open, so they keep coming in and I have to scramble and switch to another tab so they don't see me typing this aahh...  

Update (5:30pm): Yay I did go for a jog after I first posted!  But my stomach hurt again like yesterday after 30 mins of jogging, so I stopped and walked the rest of the way (40 mins).  So far I've only eaten 1/2 an apple (0 cals counted) and 1/2 a plain salad (0 cals again).  I also had 5 little chunks of chocolate for ~70 cals :) hey i'm on my period! lol

So far:
1/2 apple: 0
1/2 salad: 0
chocolate: 70
jogging: ~(-125)
walking: ~(-100)

SGD day 4: 500

This post is actually for yesterday.

Intake:
[x]apple: 0
[x]banana: 0
[x] heart thrive: 160
[x] plain salad: 0
[x] soy nuts: 130
[x] jelly beans: 70
[x] cookie: 100
[x] rice cakes: 200
Total ~660

Eww so much food but it was the first day of my period and I was out of control ahh!  I also couldn't even complete my run because of my period, I only did 30 minutes of jog/walk instead of 60 mins of jogging.  Although it did burn off most of what I ate over my limit.

111 pounds today!

SGD day 3: 400

I'm back down to 112.5 today!  Slowly but steadily I am getting back to where I was before my month-long binge :)

So I just graduated from college, but I'm still taking my last 2 classes right now (just started Monday).  One of them is a math class (I won't bore you with the details lol) and the other is a GE class about diet and exercise...  Hmmmm!  It's really quite interesting and I am already learning so much useful information.  We're all pretty much experts on here about all of the different diets out there and which ones work, etc.  But now I'm learning about why these diets work/don't work and exactly which bodily processes they are capitalizing on.  For example, we've heard that eating multiple small meals a day is better than a couple of large meals.  Why? Because low glucose levels (sugar) causes us to release insulin, which inhibits the breakdown of fat (BAD!).  So instead, we should try to keep our glucose levels higher constantly to promote lower insulin.

Anyway, I'll try to include some more helpful tips from my class on here to share with everyone in the future :)

Plan for today: 400 calories
[x] 2 carrots: 0
[] plain salad: 0
[] fruit: 0
[] vegan meatloaf (homemade by me! out of mushed up black beans) ~230

Princess Perfection I wish I could run for miles and miles without stopping!  I daydream about it all the time, it seems so exhilerating and refreshing.  But I can't do it--not yet anyway!  I've built up to running for over 16 minutes without stopping so far, hopefully I can continue to improve because I love it so much :)

SGD day 2: 300

So today I started out by doing my 4 mile jog.  The last time I did it here in LA was over a week ago (I went home last week because I didn't have school), and I was wearing shorts that kept riding up making me feel incredibly self-conscious (I have huge legs).  Anyway, I was still feeling a bit traumatized by that so I decided to flip my route so that I went through the city part of my jog first before people I might know would be up and about.  Also, if there were any people that might see me, I would just be starting my run so I would still be running strong when they saw me.  The only problem is I didn't take into account the hills on my route.  The direction I usually go in has less steep uphills but steep downhills.  I didn't think about that lol.  So today I was trying to run up steeper hills than I'm used to (and I'm not that much of a runner yet to begin with), and I ended up walking up most of them.  Then like 30 minutes into it I felt like I was going to pass out, possibly because I just started the SGD + I was doing more uphills than I was used to.  I tried to keep going but I really didn't want to faint so I stopped and cut across campus (I've been doing a perimeter run) and went home :(

It sucks because although I was still out there for an hour, half of it was walking.  It was also the first time I tried to run since I started restricting again and I wanted to see how much it would affect my running.  But since I messed everything up by going the opposite way I won't know until tomorrow.

I'm pretty worried because I started running when I decided to become more "healthy."  The only problem was my calories were getting out of control during my "healthy" period and I got up to 115 pounds yesterday (up from 108 pounds in only a month, but down to 114 today).  But I've grown to love running, and I want to continue challenging and improving myself.  It seems somehow that maybe I can't have both :(  I can't be superskinny and be a strong runner.  At least not for now :(

Anyway, I figure I burned about 200 calories this morning.  So far I had an apple (0 cals) and a plain salad (0 cals).  I also had some soy nuts (~150 cals<--I'm overestimating just in case).  So I've still got 150 cals left, or 350 if I subtract my cals burned.  I'm pretty sure I should be fine :) I'm actually still working on my salad and it's already 7pm.

Princess Perfection: Thanks for the words of encouragement!  You're always there for me with something positive :)

Wings to Set me Free: I'll definitely keep you guys updated!  It's nice to be back on here again--you guys keep me on track with my weight loss goals :)

Samzi: Great, thanks for the help :)  I'm not too worried about feeling hungry just because fruits/veggies are so filling anyway, but I'll probably try to keep them under 200 like you said so that I still lose weight!

SGD Day 1: 400

I've decided to try the Skinny Girl Diet. I really want to do the ABC because I've been eating nonstop for the past week partying and visiting with people after my graduation.  But I also want to continue running everyday, and I'm not sure I can do that with too few calories.  I don't want to end up giving up on my diet or my running, so I'm trying the SGD!  Oh, I would also try the Healthy Skinny Girl Diet, but I feel it allows too many calories so I might end up stuffing my face all the time.  I want to be healthy, but now is not the time!  I want to feel good about my body for the first time everrrr so I'm going to once again do whatever it takes to lose weight.

Update (10:20pm):
-banana: 0
-plain salad: 0
-2 homemade vegan pecan sandies (why?!?!): 200
-2 homemade vegan rice krispies (again, why?!?!?): 100
-handful of soynuts: ~100
Total: ~400


Hmm.  Feels weird not counting fruits/veggies.  Not sure if I should count them in though.

Graduation!

This morning I went to my departmental graduation ceremony.  I kept getting emotional and teary-eyed (I just can't believe I accomplished what I have, and that I'm going to have to move on right when I was getting comfortable here).  Thanks to Wings to Set me Free and Princess Perfection for the congrats and words of wisdom!  I'm really going to try and sit back to just soak everything in this weekend and enjoy my time with my family.

After the ceremony I went with my family and my boyfriend's family out to Korean BBQ for lunch.  I order the bibimbap sans meat and egg, which means it was basically just a salad and rice--quite tasty!  Plus since it was mostly veggies I didn't feel bad about eating most of it (picked around the rice though to avoid the extra calories).  My parents went back to their hotel for now, so I'm just waiting for them to pick me up and we'll just hang out around LA for the rest of the day (I'm thinking of heading to the Beverly Center).

Last night I signed up for a 5k in August.  I'm really excited!  My goal is to do at least one race every month, or 2 (one every 2 weeks) if I can afford it.  I also bought some new running shoes, the Puma FAAS 300.

Well, I guess that's it for now.  Congrats to any other grads in the Class of 2011! (Like my little sister who just graduated from high school yesterday!)

Went for a jog again today :) First time going 2 days in a row in over a week!  I also weighed myself afterwards.  I'm 111.5, which is up 3.5 pounds since my lowest (feels like forever ago).   So far today I had almost 2 bananas (shared with my boyfriend) and like 10 animal crackers (<--I don't know why I ate those...)

Hmm not much to say today, I'm too tired from finals this week.  Didn't even go to my university's graduation ceremony today... It doesn't really matter though because I'm going to the Math Dept's graduation ceremony on Sunday, which is the one my family will be attending.  So EXCITED to be graduating haha!

Bah, I want to be skinny already!

I'm Back!

OMG I'm absolutely exhausted! These past two weeks all but killed me D: but hey, I'm done!  I've got a whole week off of school/work yay!  Time for some much needed rest :)


Later tonight I'm going for a jog (I haven't gone in almost a week!).  This weekend will be a blur because of graduation, but next week I'll get to catch up on this weight-loss I've had to put on hold :) I'll restrict as much as possible next week plus do extra exercise while I have the time.  Then once summer school starts I'll probably go back to the SGD or HSGD while jogging everyday (yay for my good old routines).


Anyway, off to catch up on all your blogs!  I've missed you guys sooo much!!!