0

I had way too much today. My family picked me up with Mexican food with them, but I had already snacked on trail mix on the way home + 1 cup of fried rice from my boyfriend's mom.  I would put my total at more than 1000. (uhh supposed to be 200...)


I felt so sick of food that I had to go for a walk or something, so I convinced my family to stop by the beach for a while.  We walked around for around 30 minutes, then went shopping for the next 2 hours (thank goodness, more walking around!).  I had to look for some new dresses for my graduation commencement from university (omg).  


Anyway, I know I told myself that I'm not allowed any new clothes until I reach my goal, but the dresses don't count because I need them.  But while I was there I figured I should check out some of the shorts because my size 5 and 7 shorts are falling off me and it's getting too hot to wear jeans...  Soooo I picked out a couple of size 3 shorts, and then grabbed one size 1 and one size 0 just to see how far away I am from them.  In the dressing room I tried the size 0 first--AND OMG IT FIT!  I showed my mom, then tried on the size 1 but she said that pair looked too big!  Ahhh I can't believe it!  My mom got them for me, and we also went to another store where I tried on another pair of size 0 shorts just to make sure it wasn't a fluke and those fit too :)  I also bought a pair of size 1 jeans, but I'm not sure if I'll keep them because they're a bit baggy.  Of course I picked out some dresses, but I've been getting size small in dresses for a while, so I wasn't surprised (although they do look much more flattering than they used to).  


<3 I had so much fun shopping for clothes for the first time ever.  I've still got quite a ways to go as far as weight loss and toning, but it was nice to see "official" progress aside from what the scale says (especially because my scale has been acting up again so I've been skeptical about what it says).  Even my mom was excited for me, she was having so much fun seeing me try on dresses that I never would have been able to wear just a few years ago.


:D weeeee so even though I had way too many calories today, I'm not going to let it get to me too much (although I know I'm going to have to try harder tomorrow >.< mothers day lunch at buca di beppo...).


One thing I did notice: I never would have thought I could fit into size 0/1 shorts/jeans just by looking at myself in the mirror.  Also, when I was looking through the shorts/jeans after looking at the sizes, I thought they seemed really big (which is why I tried on other shorts at a different store--one pair were Roxy jean shorts btw but I can't remember the other brand I bought).  I still feel huge... I think I still look huge...  And it seems that the "small" clothes that I wear (apparently size 0) are huge too...  I don't know...

1000 pageviews

This blog has almost 1000 pageviews already! I can't believe it :) 

In order to 'celebrate' I've decided that I want to give out a prize to a couple of you out there.  I have no idea who will be the 1000th pageview-er so instead I'm just going to ask you guys to comment on this post or send me a message about it, and I'll have to figure out who to send them out to...

I want to make some Ana/EDNOS/thinspirational bracelets for you guys!  So if you're interested in 'winning' leave me a comment/message and then I'll get back to you about the design of it.

Options (lots of colors!):
-pony beads
-seed beads

-tiny string bracelet

-letter beads to spell anything you want (your name/initials, 'ANA', 'STRENGTH', 'FOCUS', etc.)

-animal, flower, star, heart beads... even Hello Kitty beads!

For example, I have a red pony bead bracelet that says <3ANA<3 with a Hello Kitty bead.  I know many of you need to be more discrete, which is why I'm offering tons of colors + you can spell anything you want on it (if you even want anything spelled on it).

And I will make it for you and send it to you for free <3  Lol I have no idea if any of you even want one of these one-of-a-kind (<-- haha) bracelets but I figured I would give it a shot anyway because I really feel that it helps to have a cute little reminder on your wrist (+ it'll remind you of the support you all have from this blogging community)

ABC day 6: 200

Today I don't have a meal plan because I'm going home to spend the weekend with my family and have no idea what I'll be eating.

Last night was AMAZING.  I don't know how I managed, but I ACTUALLY stuck to my food plan and kept to the 100 calories I was allowed.  I was hungry.  But I ignored it.  One of my roommates gave me a ~100 calorie ("special") brownie that he made fresh, and it was staring at me for the longest time but I wasn't even tempted to eat it because I knew of the calorie content.  I'm really excited about it because I think it'll give me extra strength for today and tomorrow, and I know I'll really really need it.

Lol I can't wait to have the brownie though because I love love love getting high off of edibles (much prefer it to smoking weed), I just need to find a day where I can afford the 100 calories for it.  It's too bad it has to be in brownie form, because I don't care about actually eating it (I just want the effects after I eat it lol) so it's kind of a waste of calories...

I started watching Supersize vs. Superskinny finally.  OMG it's seriously the best show ever lol I love it.  I think I watched 2-3 episodes last night haha...  Ugh I completely forgot what I was going to say about it lol.  Well I guess you'll just have to watch it for yourselves :D

ABC day 5: 100 (Friday wk 1)

I binged last night and added ~400 calories to my total (making it ~800 instead of the 400 I was supposed to eat).  It was Cinco de Mayo and I was anxious about drinking because of all the calories, so I decided to smoke some weed instead.  I don't know what I was thinking because I ALWAYS ALWAYS ALWAYS get the munchies whenever I smoke--I would have been way better off drinking because I would have had a low tolerance anyway.  And then I woke up at like 5:30am with a stomach ache so I was super tired all day (+work was exhausting).  Anyway, I've decided to make up for the 400 extra calories by shaving off 100 calories for each of 4 days next week.

Hmm, so I was thinking about smoking/getting munchies this morning (while I wasn't sleeping lol).  At first I decided that I shouldn't smoke anymore because I always lose all of my willpower to not eat.  Then I realized that restricting food does not equal restricting weed.  I don't want to have to give up smoking because I'm afraid of losing control.  I just need to focus harder and TAKE control.  I enjoy being high on the weekends to relax, and I need to stop messing that up by binging and then feeling guilty about it.  Now that it's in my head, I hope that I will be able to actively draw on that thought even while I'm high.

Plan for today:
[x]Lunch: 1/4 orange slice ~25 <--eaten as snack later at night...

[x]Dinner: 8 oz miso soup with tofu ~70

Total ~95

ABC day 4: 400

Last night I finished my homework early (which NEVER happens but yay!), so I decided to watch Superskinny Me...  I know the documentary meant to show that it is so miserable trying to get to size 00 that it isnt worth it, but it didnt look that bad to me..?  The woman who did it went from size 14(UK) to size 2(UK), which is supposed to be equivalent to 00(US), in like 5-6 weeks.  And Im pretty sure she only lost ~1 stone (14 pounds? sorry Im American lol) to do that...  That seems crazy!  Im not questioning whether it was actually true, and I dont want to be mean, but she didnt even look that skinny (she was definitely thin, but not "superskinny").  I mean, I started out as a size 5(US) when I started blogging here and so far Ive lost ~20 pounds but I am nowhere near superskinny/size 00...   At first I thought, maybe its because shes taller than me--but then I realized that should have the opposite effect lol!  Because Im short I should be able to get to 00 more easily just due to my proportions...  Eh, who knows...  Im still taking it as inspiration lol

Plan for today:

[]Breakfast: 1/4 orange slice ~25

[]Snack: 1/4 orange slice ~25

[x]Lunch: 1 vegan egg roll ~130 mixed greens salad with corn and pico de gallo ~50

[x]Dinner: 8 oz veggie chili ~200 3 slices vegan pizza ~300

[]Snack: 1/4 orange slice ~25

Total~405 375

Update (10:40am): While I was walking to campus I realized I forgot my orange slices and egg roll!  I won't get back to my apartment until 6ish, so I'm currently debating whether I should eat an entire piece of fruit during my break when I go to work (~100 calories) instead of the 1/2 orange + egg roll. :[ but I don't want to eat that much all at once! Arg I guess I'll just have to see what happens when I get there....  I knew I would forget my snacks one day, I just didn't think it would be so soon!  So much for spreading my calories out over my entire day...

Oh, I also forgot to mention something else about Superskinny Me. The lady who got to 00 finished with a BMI of 19...  That's still within healthy range, so what's the problem?  As far as I can see the only thing "unhealthy" about what she did was how quickly she lost the weight. Hmm...

Update (6:00): I had to make some adjustments to my plan but it's ok! I had a mini panic attack when I realized I had to deviate from my carefully planned out meals but then figured if I stick to a small salad during the day I would be fine as far as calories (and when I later looked up the calories it turned out to be no more than 50 calories, which is more than fine lol).  Haha it's kind of funny because I was thinking so much about what I could eat/if I should eat, etc when the perfect solution would of course be a salad...  Oh, and then my boyfriend made me a new type of pizza so I'm going to have some of that for dinner instead of the chili.

Update (9:30): Instead of the orange slice, I ended up snacking on like 4 potato chips, 3 mini pretzels and 1 swedish fish...  ~80 calories. Unfortunately that makes for ~430 calories today instead of 400, but I'm not too worried about it--as long as I stick to that! I'm kinda worried because its still pretty early and I'm still craving sweets (used up my calories today on that pizza and didn't have any of my usual fruit).  I opened a bottle of diet coke though and I'm slowly taking little sips from it whenever I feel like ripping open the bag of swedish fish. It's really helping though yay! I like it better than the vitamin water zero as far as zero calorie drinks but the vitamin water does have vitamins lol so it makes me feel less guilty about drinking it (I've always been against artificial sweeteners but I decided I needed to let some in if I'm going to restrict my calories so much)..

ABC day 3: 300

Just a quick post because Ive got a midterm today.  Ill probably come back later in the evening to update.

Plan for today:
[x]Breakfast: 1/4 orange slice ~25
[x]Snack: 1/4 orange slice ~25
[x]Lunch: 1/4 orange slice ~25
[x]Snack: 1/4 orange slice ~25
[x]Dinner: 8 oz wheat noodle soup ~150
[]Snack: 1/4 orange slice ~25 not hungry :)

Total~275 250

Update (7:10pm): Today was a nice day.  I had my third midterm of the week, so once I finished it I was soo relieved.  Now I still have a bunch of homework to do, but it's not nearly as stressful to me yay.

Anyway, I LOVE lists/schedules/plans/organization.  I've always known this--I write down everything I have planned for the day, everyday.  I also keep lists of things I need to do/need to buy/pick up, etc.  In the past I've tried keeping a food journal of everything I ate.  It did not help at all, I think because I would eat things and note the amount of calories after I ate it instead of planning ahead.  Then later in the day I would run out of calories but be super hungry=binge.  

But this planning out my meals thing I've been doing? AMAZING.  I stick to it and I'm never hungry.  I never have to worry about calories because I know I've already done all the calculations.  And as long as I split my calories up in to 3 "meals" and ~3 snacks, I never worry about binging because I know that if I'm hungry now all I have to do is wait an hour or two until my next snack/meal.  Eating ~6 times a day (regardless of how many calories you are actually eating) is much more satisfying, even if I'm splitting a whole orange into 4 different meals/snacks.  Just a thought!

Salt Water Flush

As I mentioned at the end of my last post, I decided to try out the Salt Water Flush.  I read that it was supposed to kick in 1/2 an hour to 2 hours after you drink the concoction.  So of course since Ive been so grumpy about my digestion problems, after waiting for 1.5 hours I figured I did it wrong/it just doesnt work on me....  Well almost literally right after I posted that it didnt work, sure enough it kicked in..

Lol and now I feel nice and cleaned out--thanks thin and bones lol if it werent for you I probably never would have done it (I just assumed it wouldnt work on me before I even tried it)