Almost binged just now.  I got home and I started eating an avocado roll that my boyfriend gave me.  Whenever I eat these sushi things, I bite them in half so that I get the middle filling part but only half the rice.  So the whole thing had 140 calories but I'm pretty sure I had no more than 100.  But once I started eating it (usually have salad for lunch/dinner) I wanted mooreee fooodd. I ate 3 mini rice cakes.  Then a handful of dark chocolate chunks. A handful of soy nuts. A pecan cookie.  12 prunes.  A regular rice cake.  With peanut butter.  Finally finished with my mango salad.  Ended up with around 600 calories according to the SGD (didn't count my mango salad cals--it was just 1/2 cup of mango and a ton of romaine lettuce).  I stopped when I realized how I must've looked.  Just shoving everything around me into my mouth. Anything I could get my hands on.  It was disgusting. So I stopped.  Thank goodness, I was supposed to have 500 calories today anyway, so i didn't do too badly.

Started chewing some gum to distract myself.  I wasn't physically hungry anymore, but I knew if I had the chance I would end up eating anyway.  Then came on here to check out the thinspo on all your blogs.  Remembered that the only way I'd ever get close to being skinny is if I stop eating.  Took some fiber.  Apparently I get enough fiber because of all the fruits and veggies I eat on a daily basis.  So my fiber supplement isn't really necessary...  Whatever,, I don't want any extra poop weight in my body ever.

Oh, in my diet and exercise class we had to weigh ourselves and find out body fat %.  I was really anxious because I felt like I could pee (even though I made sure not to drink any water 1.5 hrs prior to when we would be weighed) and I didn't want to weigh more than I really do just because I was full of pee!  Anyway, the scale read 113.6, which is not bad considering I didn't pee beforehand and I had a bagel and a banana earlier in the day.  The surprising part was my body fat %.  I thought it would be super high because I can tell that my body is mostly fat and very little muscle.  But it wasn't.  According to my class (these numbers vary based on different sources), 16.7-24.9% is normal, above 25% is overweight and under 16.7 is lean.  Somehow my body fat % is 16.5 :)  Nice little birthday present :)  Except that literally the second I got home I went through a mini binge....  

SGD day 11: 500

Thank you all for the birthday wishes yesterday!!

Yesterday was so much fun :) After BJ's everyone headed over to my apartment and we just hung out and drank for the rest of the night.  It was relaxing drinking though, not crazy party time since it was a Wednesday lol.  I CANNOT wait for this weekend (3-day weekend woo!!).  That is when the real party should happen lol yay!

Another great thing about yesterday was that I ended up not liking my pasta haha! Sounds like a bad thing, but since I didn't like it I only ate 1/4 of it, plus about 1/3 of my friend's veggie pizza (no cheese).  So in total I had about 300 calories from dinner :)  ...But I did have 3 beers last night >.<  It was worth it though... 

Today I get 500 calories, plus I'm going for a run later today.  So far I've found the SGD to be my favorite diet in terms of ease and energy levels.  Only problem is I really wanted to be 95lbs by August, meaning I've got a month to lose like 15 pounds :( Don't think that's going to happen, especially since I'm almost halfway through the SGD without experiencing a crazy amount of weight loss.  I guess I can't really know until I weigh myself tomorrow, but it doesn't seem very likely.

Intake today:

-1 plain bagel ~ 200 cals
-banana: 0

(will update again after dinner)



Aye Ell I hate that although I expect a temporary gain the morning after a party it always kills me whenever I see that high number on the scale.  It doesn't make any sense to freak out but we all do it, which is why I'm just going to try to avoid it for now :)

parisienne.love thank you! Hopefully I can finish out the rest of the SGD strong :)

Princess Perfection thanks and you're right, I think a night off for my 21st birthday was well deserved haha :)

Thin or Not and Evelyn thank you for the birthday wishes :)

Ceecee omg I know!  I'm the youngest out of my group of friends (everyone is at least a year older than me because I graduated a year early) so I have been dyiinnggg to turn 21 lol.  I can finally go out with everyone without any worries :)

Sammy hahah! yes please I hope my body cooperates with me this week :)

Camille you're absolutely right and I'm trying not to get discouraged by the slow weight loss by telling myself it's probably more muscle from exercise.  I can definitely run a lot further and faster than I could when I first started, so that's something!

SGD day 10: 400

Yesterday went very well.  In total I had just over 300 calories, but according to the SGD (where fruits and veggies don't count as calories), I had just over 100 :D

I also ran yesterday, I didn't stop once for 4 miles.

Today is my birthday, I'm 21 now!!!  We're going to BJ's tonight, and I've already looked at the menu ahead of time.  I'm going to have the Mediterranean vegetable pasta, which has 525 calories.  I'm going to get it with no cheese, which should reduce the calories by a tiny bit.  I've already used up 160 calories today (hearth thrive energy bar), but I know my boyfriend is going to make sure I eat most of the pasta since I will probably have a couple of drinks (hey I'm 21 now lol).  Anyway, even with all that, I don't think my calorie intake will be all that high (definitely keep it under 1000) + it's my birthday so as long as I make sure today is the only day I go over my calorie limit I should be fine :)

I can tell that my body is getting back to where it was at my lowest weight.  I'm not going to weigh-in until Friday so that I don't obsess over every little change, (like tomorrow for example, I would probably not be happy with my weight after my festivities tonight), but I can definitely tell by the way my clothes are fitting me.  I was 111 last Friday, I would LOVE to be closer to 108 this week, but as long as I don't gain because of tonight I'll be happy.  BUUUUUT I really hope I lose something, anything!!! Lol, please, as a birthday present?

SGD day 9: 300

I'm really tired already, and I've just started the 2nd week of summer school! (6 weeks total).  It's a good thing though, means I'm not getting enough energy from food :)

My boyfriend is onto me--he keeps hinting that I have an eating disorder and making sure I eat.  But he only keeps a close enough eye on me during the weekends.  Monday-Friday he's too busy playing video games with our roommates to notice what I'm eating.

I like the SGD so far.  It's making me eat most of my calories from fruits and veggies.  Usually I would count the calories from fruits/veggies, so I wouldn't eat very many when I was restricting.  But now that it's "unlimited," I've been eating around 2 whole pieces of fruit a day and a huge salad that I split over 2 meals.  This makes me full enough to not have to eat so much of other kinds of food (as in non-fruits/veggies).  It's perfect because calories from fruits/veggies are pretty much the only ones I want in my body anyway :)

I want to be an expert at reading nutritional and ingredient labels on food.  I can already scan for non-vegan items really quickly, I want to add refined sugars/any other non-whole-food to my list of ingredients to avoid.  Hmm maybe I should make a list...

Tomorrow is my 21st birthday :) I'm turning 21 during my last summer of college haha

I'm determined to eat as little as possible and still run everyday for the rest of this week.  I'll see how it goes.

Princess Perfection and Thin or Not thanks for your encouragement :) I think you guys are my best motivation to stay strong and lose more weight because I know we are all going through the same things together!

SGD day 8: 400

This past weekend I should have had around 650 calories a day.  I ended up doubling that amount--for both days! (~1300 each day)

Blegh it sucks, but I did get to hang out with my family at the mall (lots of walking yay).

Hmm I'm in the comp lab and a bunch of people just walked in, so I'm going to have to pick this up later...

Just wanted to let you all know that I'm still here and I'm still determined to stick to the SGD!

Update (1:00pm): Phew, okay I'm back :)
So far today:
-apple: 0 cals
-heart thrive energy bar: 160
-jogging (1 hour): -250
total: -90 so far :)

Hmm so although I'm fed up with my weight/body again and I thought I was determined to lose more, I can't seem to really get focused and stick to my diet.  I'm fine during the week when I have school and work to distract me, but when I actually need to rely on my strength and willpower to avoid food I don't even try.  I can tell because I've done it before, and I know it's hard but I've done it.  Bah so now I just restrict during the week (which is easy) so that I can eat whatever I want over the weekend and not gain any weight.  Arghh but I want to lose weight and I'm not.  I don't know how to make myself try through--I don't know how to get myself motivated enough..

Hmph.  so now I just feel guilty about eating/huge and covered in fat all the time--and yet somehow that isn't enough to make me stop eating?

meh.

SGD day 5: 450

Hmm day 2 of my period.  So I'm 111 again today, most likely due to all the BLOATING yuck.  It's 11am and I don't feel like eating anything but I also don't feel like running :(

Yesterday I started using a software with which I record everything I eat and all of my activity.  It's a lot better than the free one I was using online (fitday.com, which is still pretty good for being free).  I'm kinda scared about turning in my data though, because I'm eating very little and exercising a lot.  But I don't want to add in extra food to look "normal" because I actually want to use this thing to monitor my real progress lol!

Ah well I'll have to come back later tonight and update my food intake and hopefully my exercise because my roommates just came into my room and left the door open, so they keep coming in and I have to scramble and switch to another tab so they don't see me typing this aahh...  

Update (5:30pm): Yay I did go for a jog after I first posted!  But my stomach hurt again like yesterday after 30 mins of jogging, so I stopped and walked the rest of the way (40 mins).  So far I've only eaten 1/2 an apple (0 cals counted) and 1/2 a plain salad (0 cals again).  I also had 5 little chunks of chocolate for ~70 cals :) hey i'm on my period! lol

So far:
1/2 apple: 0
1/2 salad: 0
chocolate: 70
jogging: ~(-125)
walking: ~(-100)

SGD day 4: 500

This post is actually for yesterday.

Intake:
[x]apple: 0
[x]banana: 0
[x] heart thrive: 160
[x] plain salad: 0
[x] soy nuts: 130
[x] jelly beans: 70
[x] cookie: 100
[x] rice cakes: 200
Total ~660

Eww so much food but it was the first day of my period and I was out of control ahh!  I also couldn't even complete my run because of my period, I only did 30 minutes of jog/walk instead of 60 mins of jogging.  Although it did burn off most of what I ate over my limit.

111 pounds today!