Took my last final earlier today :) I am officially done with college!!

And now it is time to focus on losing weight :D  I went for a run today, first time in over a week >.<  I'm going to make sure I go 5x a week, no homework so no excuses.  I also brought my little 2 pound exercise ball from home, so maybe I can do some workouts in the mornings with that.

I'm back at 111 pounds.  I started losing a tiny bit of it but then gained it all back because of studying.  However I did catch a glance of myself in the window when I was walking to work and I guess I could be considered slim finally.  Not skinny, not thin, but maybe maybe slim...  Actually, I take it back.  I don't want to jinx myself by letting myself get content with where I am right now...

No time

Bleh I've been so busy finishing up my last two classes (finals next week!) and also with work. I haven't had any free time to come on here and post (although I've been making sure to keep up with all of your blogs!).  Tomorrow I'm going home to go to Comic-con!!  Which means I'll be crazy busy for the rest of the week with that.

I haven't gotten a chance to read Unbearable Lightness yet, but I downloaded Wasted and read that on my new Kindle this weekend.  OMG. It was such an intense read.  I could see myself in her and it scared me to see her lose complete control.  But it was even scarier to find myself inspired by her control (at first) and determination.  As I was reading it, I kept telling myself "okay take this as a warning, you cannot let this happen to you."  But I'd find myself later thinking about how I could go back to running everyday, and that my excuses for not having time or being too tired were just weak excuses....  And I'd think, I could probably cut this out of my diet, and also that...

Anyway, yesterday I went for a run even though I wasn't planning on it as a had an entire weeks worth of homework due that I hadn't started yet.  But I convinced myself that I would just stay up as late as necessary to finish it, and that I needed to run.  I'll also make sure to run today, especially since I'll be traveling tomorrow.  Then Comic-con for 4 straight days, which means no time for eating and walking around all day lugging around my huge bag of freebies!!!  Very excited, I look forward to it every year :)  I just hope that I have the energy for it--I've become addicted to coffee this past year, but I usually have free access to it from work or by making it at home.  At comic-con I would actually have to pay for it, which I would rather not do since I drink so much of it and starbucks is sooo expensive!! 

Just got Unbearable Lightness by Portia di Rossi :)  Very excited to read it, I'm hoping that it helps keep me on track.

I think I'll make my goal less than 500 calories a day.  I know I'm restricting but I'm not really counting calories since I've been eating pretty much only fruits and veggies (got used to it from the SGD, where I didn't have to count them).  So I know I'm taking in very few calories but I just want to make sure I'm under a limit just in case I get out of control.

Today and yesterday my eating was pretty bad.  Close to 1000 calories each day.  I'm anxious about my weigh in on Friday.  I need to be less than 109.5 because if I get back to 111 (where I was plateauing for forever) I'll die.

This weekend I'm staying at my apartment in LA instead of going home to OC with my boyfriend.   Yay because I'm way better at restricting here than I am in OC for some reason.  Plus I'm WAAAAYYYY better at exercising here than in OC since I have a routine here (for the weekdays) and I've never gotten to create a routine in OC.

If I can start off next week at a decent weight instead of trying to work off my weekend binges (which is what I usually end up doing, hence my 111 plateau) then I should be in good shape by next friday.  I wanted to be at my GW by August, which I know won't happen (barring some kind of miracle).  I'm not too worried because I'll finally be done with school by August (forever! maybe...) so I'll just be working at the coffee shop for 6 weeks (August and 2 weeks of September) and concentrating on losing weight.  So hopefully I can reach my GW by the end of summer.  Hmmm that kinda sucks, would have been ideal to be skinny during the summer lol but oh well....  As long as I get there :)

Anyone know any other good ED books?  I just ordered a Kindle + I'm almost done with school so I'll be reading a lot more nowadays :)

In my efforts to eat healthier, I have decided to only consume "real" food.  To me this means no preservatives or anything I can't immediately recognize/know where it comes from.

I guess we'll see how this goes :)

Done with SGD

I ended up reverting back to restricting, and I didn't want to force myself to eat more than I wanted to just to reach the numbers for the SGD so I just decided to stop.

Anyway, this week has been sooo busy for me, which is why I haven't been posting :(  Busy + I haven't had much time to myself to sneak on here and post.  Whenever I did get a chance I used it to catch up on all of your blogs, leaving me no time to post anything myself.  (I'd rather read about how you guys are doing than ramble on about myself!)

So I was able to go running three days in a row! Yay! I better keep it up next week too.  I have a midterm on Monday, which means that all my studying will be done this weekend (leaving me free to run everyday next week).

I kind of ran this morning, but lately I've been running in the evening (more time + it's cooler after 6pm) so when I went out today at around 9:40ish it was SO HOT!!!  Not to mention that when I run in the evenings I have approximately 24hours between each session, giving my body time to recover.  But since I ran in the morning today (and I ran in the evening yesterday), I didn't give myself enough time in between sessions.  So I ended up jogging about half of my route and walking the rest.  It's okay though, because when I got back and weighed myself the scale read 109.5!!!!

I'm so excited to finally get away from 111 (where I had been stuck at for so long).  I immediately drank 2 cups of water and jumped in the shower, but for some reason I was absolutely exhausted and couldn't keep my head up.  I got scared that I might pass out in the shower so I quickly washed the shampoo out of my hair and got out.  Then I lay down in bed for a few minutes...  Phew!  I'm fine now, but I was really paranoid for a few minutes there.

Oh, I also started keeping a journal since I've had some thoughts that I wanted to post on here but never got a chance to.  I'll be sure to post them on here on days I have nothing to say haha!

SGD day 13: 650

Still 111 this morning.  I'm determined to stick to the SGD this weekend though.  All i need to do is stuff myself full of low cal fruits and veggies, then I won't be able to eat anything else! :)

Update

Right after my earlier post I immediately took some fiber and went back to bed feeling bad about myself.  When I got up to go to work later I went to the bathroom and weighed-in at 111 pounds.  So at least I didn't gain this week.

I haven't eaten anything today yet (it's about 7:30pm right now).  I feel so tired and my head hurts a little bit (drank a bunch of black coffee to keep my energy up without food).  I might end up eating some salad and/or fruit.  I also said I was going to go running today.  But I'm tired.  I know I said no excuses.  But I don't want to feel even worse when I get back, assuming I finish my run in the first place.  As much as I love running and being outdoors, this is definitely one of the times I wish I had a treadmill or some kind of exercise machine in my apartment.  Or at least some space/privacy to do an exercise video or some yoga.  I'm tired and it's really hot outside, and I wish I could stay inside but still exercise.

Took some more fiber just now.  Keeps me nice and full and also cleans me out at the same time.

I hope I can get through this weekend without messing up my diet.  Three-day weekend!

SGD day 12: 450

Weigh-in this morning: 111.5 :(
I've gained half a pound this week?!?!? 
Ugh.
I have 450 calories today but I don't feel like eating.
I haven't gone running for 2 days in a row. I have to go later today, no excuses.
It's really hot out right now.

...

Nothing else to say, I'm pretty bummed about my weight but I guess I should've known by my calories yesterday and Wednesday.