No progress

Well, this past weekend has officially been the worst one so far.  I've always been able to bounce back after my failed weekends, either staying at the same weight or even losing slightly.  Well not this time.  This time I gained back 1.5 pounds and can't seem to shake it.  I followed through with my diet plan yesterday but I still ended up at the same weight this morning.  The effects of my overindulgence in peanut butter are here to stay.

Alright, that cinches it.  Time for some real punishment so that I can truly learn from my mistakes.  I kept taking my weight loss for granted, thinking that it would come as long as I restrict "tomorrow."  No more binging over the weekends.

Until I get down to 110 pounds, no more than 300 calories a day.

Until I get down to 100, no more shopping.  My clothes officially do NOT fit me anymore, but I don't want to buy new ones if I'm planning to drop even more weight.  I won't buy clothes that I "plan" to wear when I'm skinnier.  Nothing until I'm actually there.

New wardrobe at 97.

I am moving out of my apartment at the end of June.  Whenever I move I go through my stuff and sell/donate what I don't want anymore.  My goal: to have to get rid of most of my clothes because they are way too big on me.

Too much

Well today I started out at 116.5 pounds...  

Last night I gave in to my hunger and ate some snacks (popcorn and some trail mix..)  It may not seem like much but I know it was compared to the amount of calories I consumed all day.  Then today I started out well, with only a banana all day until some tofu and broccoli after work...

But my roommate's birthday was earlier in the week, so we went to a restaurant to celebrate.  I finished ALL of my food.  I kept thinking "it's not that much anyway (it was tofu curry and rice)" but once I looked at my empty plate I immediately felt sick.  I can't believe I let myself eat that much, especially since I was trying to pump myself up after my spring break failure.  During the car ride back to the apartment I kept thinking about how I have to purge.  But there were a bunch of people there and I couldn't just start throwing up without drawing attention.  Not to mention I don't even know how to purge.  I've tried a few times by sticking my fingers down my throat but I just spit up a little bit.  I've heard that salt water can work, but it's not for everyone.  I would try it but I don't really want to risk drinking 4 tbsp of salt without eventually vomiting.  So here I am sitting at my laptop being a fatty and writing about it.  I'm dreading what the scale will say tomorrow morning.  I don't think I'll eat anything tomorrow, just water and maybe some juice if I need it.  I have to make up for this stupid mistake.